


A Speck Of White In A Sea Of Brown Means Someone Drowned

by Radioabsurd



Series: (phases): drown, drowned, drowning [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Army Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Bigotry & Prejudice, Canon Gay Character, Carlos Reyes Needs a Hug (9-1-1 Lonestar), Codependency, Coming Out, Dysfunctional Family, Established Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, F/M, Family Issues, Gen, Hurt Carlos Reyes, I wrote a lot of Carlos Reyes & Eddie Diaz for a fic about tarlos lol, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insecure TK Strand, Intense Carlos Reyes, Intense Eddie Diaz, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Men Crying, Of a sort., Police Brutality, Tags Are Hard, Tags Contain Spoilers, Tags May Change, Trust Issues, Worried Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star), but mentioned., is also what starts this mess., is what starts this mess., no beta we die like shannon diaz & carlos reyes's "friendship", not in detail
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:49:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Radioabsurd/pseuds/Radioabsurd
Summary: TK doesn't understand that it's deeper than a gay relationship, but Carlos does.Or: a comment on the 2x04 Lone Star Promo #2 YouTube video said:"Wouldn't it be an interesting twist if Carlos didn't introduce TK as his boyfriend not because he's a boy, but because he's white?"And so I wrote a carlos fanfic about that scenario :)
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) & Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star), more relationships listed as we go.
Series: (phases): drown, drowned, drowning [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2156421
Comments: 9
Kudos: 86





	A Speck Of White In A Sea Of Brown Means Someone Drowned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy!

He grew up on a ranch in El Paso, with his siblings and cousins and uncles and aunts all around him. He grew up around chaos, around love, around family. He grew up with arguments and family cook-offs and races down the dirt street that went up to his house. He grew up with his friends in a high school twenty to thirty minutes away depending on when he left for school. 

He grew up with bitterness stuck on his tongue, with fear coating his bones every time his mama would pick up her phone, knuckles clutched tight. He grew up with a tired sort of hatred in his heart when he would hear the uttered words his papa would say after getting pulled over by a cop. He can remember the fear in his best friend’s eyes when a cop practically tore Carlos’s father out of their car, could practically feel Eddie’s heart beating as they waited for something, for _anything_. 

He remembers how silent the car was after the cop let his papa go, a smirk on his pale face. He doesn’t think he was supposed to catch what his father said, mostly because he turned the radio on. 

But he did hear it and he understood it and he felt it. 

_"Arrastrándome fuera de mi coche así en frente de mis chicos... Debería mostrarte lo que se siente, estúpido blanco."_

He grew up with a sinful desire at the sight of beautiful eyes, bowed lips, and muscled arms. He can remember the way Eddie looked at him when he told him, a smirk on his face and his brown eyes shining with mischief. 

“So, _Carlitos_ , who was the one who made you realize this?” 

He remembers laughing, joy flooding his veins because Eddie didn’t care that Carlos thought he was beautiful (in a platonic sort of way), didn’t care that they had church together in the morning and what he was saying was practically _blasphemy_ , didn’t care that they had sleepovers where one couldn’t tell who-was-who because they were so intertwined, didn’t care that Carlos was _gay_ , didn’t care because Carlos was Eddie’s best friend and _that was that_. 

He grew up with a best friend he could be quiet with, he could get in trouble with, he could do anything with because he was practically Carlos’s brother. 

And then Eddie met Shannon, one of the cheerleaders who used to hang around one of his older sisters, Adriana. He can remember the way his papa sneered and the dark look in his eyes when Eddie showed up at the ranch, a bright smile on his face as he introduced his first girlfriend to someone who was basically his second father. He can remember the way his papa left, leaving Eddie in the middle of his sentence and the way his shoulders tensed, angry, and underneath all that anger, pain. 

He grew up in the middle of uncomfortable fights, with Shannon shouting one thing or another whilst Eddie shot back because, after her meeting with Eddie’s parents and his own parents, her embarrassment seemed to turn into jealousy and hurt and low self-worth. He can remember the way her blue eyes darkened with hate when she looked at him, could practically see her thinking about the easy way Carlos and Eddie moved around one another, touched one another, laughed with one another, _loved_ one another, and came to the wrong conclusion. 

He could see, before she even said what she said, that everything was going to be ruined- was going to be burned because hatred and anger never did mix well. 

And then she said what she said, something he never wants to repeat, and left, leaving Eddie and Carlos standing there. 

And then it was just Carlos. 

He grew up with tears streaming down his face, with supportive hands on his shoulders, with brothers he never really talked to but still loved and with parents who hated cursing, people neglecting their farm animals, white people, ICE, and cops. 

Especially cops. 

He knew he wanted to be a cop when he was 13. 

Carlos and Eddie’s relationship doesn’t change, but they touch a little less, hold on to each other a little less, and he knows it’s because of Shannon. Eddie doesn’t have a problem with homosexuality, doesn’t have a problem with _him_ , but he loves Shannon. 

And Shannon thinks Eddie’s messing around with Carlos. 

Eddie and Shannon eventually get back together and Carlos tries to be friends with her, but he can’t forget the vitriol she spit at ~~them~~ him. He knows Eddie talked to her because they didn’t get back together until she apologized to him and, even then, Eddie asked if them getting back together was okay. 

Their lives and families are so intertwined that whatever happens to one happens to all. 

He doesn’t know why he forgot that, but it comes back when one of his brothers comes at him, anger making the veins in his neck red as he spits out a question. 

_"¿Eres homosexual?”_

It’s not an actual question, he can tell by his brother’s tone. It’s practically dripping in disgust and disdain and the tone makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. The horse he was tending to, one of their new ones named Sandy, starts to shake her head. He can tell that she can feel the energy in the air and it’s making her nervous. 

He's just about to ask Alexander to leave when he does, but not without pushing Carlos to the ground. Carlos picks himself up, calms Sandy down until she’s standing still and chewing on an apple in contentment. 

He thinks about running to Eddie’s house before realizing that Eddie’s parents probably already know because Alexander is a momma’s boy with a big mouth and has a hatred for gay people staining his heart. 

Something like dread crawls up his spine, so he stays in the ranch until the porch lights come on, signifying dinner. He may fear his parent’s reaction to his sexuality, but he fears missing a family dinner more. 

It’s quiet when he walks into the house, probably because everyone inside could hear his boots against the porch. He takes his shoes off and sets them to the side before opening the door, cringing a little at the noise the door makes. He walks down the corridor, dragging his feet against the floor until he walks into the living room that opens into the dining room and kitchen. There’s family everywhere. His four brothers, including Alexander, are sitting next to his parents on the couch. Cousins are in dining room chairs and lounging on the floor of the living room. One of his young uncles is sitting on the island in the kitchen and that’s when Carlos knows that the reaction is going to be bad. 

His mama hates when Tío Alejo sits on the counter and she’s not even side-eyeing him. 

He sighs, puts his hand on his hip, and waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations: 
> 
> 1) _“Arrastrándome fuera de mi coche así en frente de mis chicos... Debería mostrarte lo que se siente, estúpido blanco.”_ = 
> 
> "Dragging me out of my car like that in front of my boys... I should show you how it feels, you stupid white boy."
> 
> 2) _"¿Eres homosexual?”_ = 
> 
> "Are you gay?" 
> 
> \--- 
> 
> feel free to comment, especially if you see a grammar/spelling mistake! see you guys on Friday! :)


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